I haven't updated this in a while. I don't know if that's because I'm feeling better about everything or simply because with everything else going on in my life I just don't have the time or the energy.


I started reflexology on the 6th of July and I'm now going on to my 5th session. I like it. It's probably the more enjoyable of alternative therapies I have tried. I don't know if it's having any effect as of yet I am to see the benefit of anything I try. I think like a lot of things I will wonder if all the time, energy and money when I eventually end up pregnant actually paid any part in where I end up. Maybe if it happened within a month or so I would believe it.

For me it is actually strange that I am approaching any kind of alternative therapy full stop. I know that there is a basis behind their theories and they must work otherwise they wouldn't be as ancient as they are and would have died out years ago, but I think I will put most of my trust in western medicine. Which frankly hasn't got me anywhere yet.

I have started doing yoga and it's ok, being a netballer and a runner it's so so so weird for me to lay on the floor for 5 minutes with my eyes shut and my arms out to my side whilst I concentrate on my breathing. Usually I'm concentrating on actually breathing. Period. I don't know how to relax, I don't know if that's partly because I always have somewhere I need to be or something I need to do or just that it's not in my nature. I have always been told that if I'm sat in front of the tv that I am wasting my time and should be doing something useful so that's what I do. Be it go to the gym, cleaning the house, doing the laundry. I always have to be doing something. I'm hoping that with practice this will come.

My next hospital appointment is in a week. I'm anxious, but I already know what the outcome will be "just keep doing what you're doing". I'm planning on asking if I can try an IUI. Even if I don't get pregnant I need to feel like I'm doing everything I can. It's just the same as any woman who after sex lays there with her legs in the air. Scientifically it's not going to make any difference, but we still do it, just to feel like we are doing something. I hope they let me do it because frankly I am so over clomid. I know they wanted to start me on metformin, but I have been taking that for 3 months so far and not a sausage.

Maybe next time....