Shopping

So, last night we went to the town where I had my scan before the abortion. We go there a lot and most of the time I'm fine. It's only when we're walking over a bridge to the car park and I see the cinema and the lights outside that I'm reminded of it.

It looks exactly the same as it did and it makes me feel miserable, guilt and despair that I can't get pregnant. Strange how one thing can remind you of something. Jim obviously was asking me what was wrong and he's asked me before when we've been there at night and I've told him. This time I just said I'm fine. He knows though. I've just pulled a box down from my wardrobe which has my baby uggs in them and I honestly just feel like giving them away to someone who can actually use them. I've had them almost 2 years after buying them in a sale. I've got knitted clothing and blankets and I just want everything gone now. I have no idea why I put myself through this.